Self-help is a self-sought, self-taught and self-implemented solution. Following Christ, unlike any other remedy, philosophy or religion, is the lasting foundation to help yourself — every day, with any problem. Only Christ offers fearless pursuit of reality and freedom to change.
The Subtle Misrepresentation of Self-help, in its Purist Form: Trusting in Yourself
Marketers’ mantra is “Become a better you,” a mantra indiscriminate to secular or religious settings. In Barnes & Noble’s “Self-Help & Relationships: Personal Growth” category, as of June 2024, there were more than 108,000 results.1 Who doesn’t want to try for the best life possible?
Educating and empowering yourself is vital to competent, adult independence. Misplacing responsibility on others to solve your self-created problem is selfish. A responsible person owns his or her problem and solution.
Seeking help for solutions is wise. An ancient king once wrote, “let a wise person listen and increase learning, and let a discerning person obtain guidance.” Proverbs 1:5.
But, in its purist form, self-help isn’t just about seeking help. Self-help has an intrinsically subtle misrepresentation. The misleading culprit is self-help’s implied source of trust: yourself. Trusting in yourself is a flawed conclusion.
Irrespective of the goal, self-help trusts in 1) the self’s ability to discover the right knowledge, and 2) the willpower to consistently implement that knowledge. Self-help depends on imperfect knowledge and willpower for success. Christ offers the best way.
Imperfect Knowledge
Science and accepted societal solutions evolve. The scientific method wouldn’t exist if human knowledge was certain and complete. Despite its advances of lifesaving treatment and extreme convenience, for which I’m personally grateful, human knowledge is uncertain and incomplete. Whether you’re an atheist or theist, humanity studies world(s) and bodies created by a non-human source.
For “Exhibit A” of imperfect, transitory knowledge, I submit the topic of nutritious eating, which has no lack of studies, minds, and dollars. In my elementary education, the food pyramid was king. A low fat diet dethroned it. Then, carbs were the enemy. Now, whole, organic foods or vegan diets are the ticket. Of course, fruits and veggies are a nutritious constant, but the big ideas for the best diets shift as time reveals previously unknown risks and rewards.
Regardless of topic, until time solidifies long-term effects, we may not know consequences. There is a much better option than relying upon imperfect, transitory knowledge.
Before discussing the best option, next is the topic of willpower. Even with perfect knowledge, unless you have willpower, the right information is useless.
Imperfect Willpower
Several years ago, when I needed comic relief on a work drive, I listened to a comedian (forgive me, I don’t recall his name) who joked he had problems. The punch line, much more clever as he delivered it: upon thorough examination, he realized he was the solitary source of his problems. This struck a nerve for me and was quite empowering. If I’m the source of my problems (yes, 100% true), I can work to change them.
The reputedly redeeming twist of self-help is its indivisible problem and solution: the individual self. The target topic is moving (healthier lifestyle, better relationships, meeting goals, you name it), but the person aiming the arrow and the person pinned to the bullseye, who must overcome his or her obstacle, are the same.
For argument’s sake, let’s say you have an enviable will of cool iron, and your life has changed as a result of intentional, practiced self-help. Even if you have perfect knowledge and willpower, no one has just one problem. For me, self-improvement is a Matryoshka Doll. As I uncover the layers of myself that need to change, faces of more issues reveal themselves.
As other problems reveal themselves, the self-help quest starts again. The self does not perfect itself. Instead, the marketed “Become a better you” solution results in fresh research, imperfect (but admirable and beneficial) efforts, and profitable self-help resource sales.
Please don’t misunderstand. The wisdom and research in self-help resources shouldn’t be discounted or discouraged. Following Christ doesn’t erase the edification of self-help materials. But, without Christ, imperfect knowledge, imperfect willpower, and multiplying problems won’t encounter reality and lasting change.
The only way to become the most empowered, dynamic self, in any situation, is to follow Christ. Following Christ exercises mind and will completely to fearlessly discover reality and change.
Imperfect Knowledge versus the Accessible Source of Knowledge and Reality
To be effective, knowledge must reflect reality. Christ is the source of reality and author of knowledge. John 1:1-14, Colossians 1:15-20. Christ pursued revelation of reality in the face of death to offer divine knowledge to us.
Christ revealed spiritual reality, a mystery hidden for ages. Christians believe the ancient witness, Paul, who explains several times in his letters: Christ shared divine reality and knowledge with us. Ephesians 3:6-13 (the mystery hidden for ages in God, which is the incalculable riches of Christ), Colossians 1:24-27 (the mystery hidden for ages revealed in Christ), Colossians 2:2 (God’s mystery is Christ, in whom is hidden all treasures of knowledge).
Christ is the way to access the authority of reality and knowledge. We have bold access to God through Christ. Ephesians 3:12, Hebrews 4:14-16.
Does bold access to Christ mean when we pray, He’ll be a vending machine of knowledge for your best life? We know; that’s a no. Christians should pray at all times and in everything. Ephesians 6:18 (pray at all times), Philippians 4:6 (pray in everything). We know Christ will meet all of our needs. Philippians 4:19.
Praying at all times and in everything is not a replacement for God-given reason. Christianity has no excuse for lazy or timid thinking. God’s faithfulness is not pretext for Christians to turn off their minds and wait for Christ’s audible voice at the expense of mental work. Christ Himself schooled the religious lawyers of his day.
As Romans 12:2 instructs, “be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” For Christians, since Truth Himself is the guide, our responsibility is to decipher truth (reality) in all things, so we aren’t misled. 2 Corinthians 10:5.
Only Christ offers fearless pursuit of reality, which is the foundation of valuable, genuine intellectual exploration. Christ died for reality (truth) to set us free. Christ’s death and resurrection authenticated the reality of God’s offer of love, freedom, and life to every soul, which is the way to lasting change.
Imperfect Willpower Becomes Free
About two thousand years ago, Paul wrote “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15. Ancient Paul and the modern comedian I allude to, above, share a perennial problem: in the self-help story, the hero and villain are an inwardly dueling, indivisible character.
Whatever the self-help goal, certain qualities are key to willpower: self-control, patience, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, goodness, love, and finding joy and peace. These aren’t irrelevant, soft qualities. For any goal, at least one of these freeing behaviors is necessary for success.
For instance, better relationships require any and all of them. Meeting your goal at work requires faithfulness and patience. A healthy lifestyle requires self-control and finding joy.
Christ is the source of these freeing traits. Christianity is willpower at its fullest – putting your will to the death and exchanging it for life with Christ by following His freeing ways. Through Christ’s forgiveness, grace and help of the Holy Spirit, Christians practice freeing, life-giving ideas and behavior.
Does that mean Christians don’t struggle? Easy no. Paul struggled with willpower. Christians are instructed to continually put on the new self and put to death the old self. The old self is controlled by destructive qualities. As Colossians 3:1-17 articulates, controlling, destructive qualities are sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and lies.
Pick any controlling trait; each breeds failure. Work project progressing positively until you spoke unfairly about a teammate? Relationship going well until you lost your cool?
By the power of His resurrection and redemption, Christ frees us from controlling, destructive ways. Christ offers grace and help to make you new and free. Christ is the only way to inner freedom and lasting change.
The Best Way to Help Yourself: Follow Christ
Barnes & Noble’s “Personal Growth” category describes self-help as rebirth: “Unearth your best self with our list of personal growth and self-improvement books.”2 As certified by His resurrection from the grave, only Christ tenders true rebirth of self through fearless pursuit of reality and freedom to change.
Following Christ is the enduring framework to help yourself. For any problem, Christ offers fearless pursuit of reality and freedom to change. With Christ, you won’t just be a “better you”. You’ll be brand new.