In this life, is there anything we can hold on to? Aren’t material things conditional? They eventually depreciate or decay. Anyone’s possessions can be taken or destroyed, although it’s harder for some versus others. Death is guaranteed. Depressing, right? Why am I even writing about this? Hang with me, because when loss seems to be winning, this topic shifts from avoidable to urgent. If loss has the final word, is there anything, which can’t be taken, and which doesn’t fade into the past?
Is there a loss exclusion? If you’ve experienced deep loss or prolonged pain, this post is for you.
Let’s say there is no loss exclusion. Then, why try? The surface response: fearing loss is loss guaranteed. Sedentary choices are unattractive. Whatever atheistic, agnostic, or religious lens you’re wearing, a sleepy life is limp and insipid. The appealing, admired ones share a choice. They risk losing something of theirs to benefit another.
My senior year of high school, a good friend tailored William Arthur Ward’s advice for me: “[t]he greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. She may avoid suffering and sorrow, but she simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live. Chained by her certitudes . . . a slave, she has forfeited her freedom. Only the person who risks can be called a free woman. And only a free woman can be called a child of God.” A latent life attempts to insulate itself from the possibility of pain, failure, or loss. But, fear – unlike wisely dodging avoidable pain, failure, or loss – will paralyze you.
Trust is the antidote to fear’s paralysis. Prescience isn’t an option. We don’t know what will happen next. Active choices are based on trusting something outside yourself – a principle or person – to attain a conditional result. Trying at all assumes something should not be lost, at least for a moment. We now have a conditional loss exclusion.
That’s the initial response. But, when loss has an undefeated season, the real query becomes: is there anything worthy of our long-term trust? Is there an unconditional loss exclusion?
Loss Exclusion – A Principle
Unlike material things, a principle may be indissoluble. I’ll suggest a few easily enduring ideals: freedom and the inherent value of each human life. Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, argues human life is uniquely valuable, even in suffering. One of the themes in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is the achievement of suffering well, “It can be said that they were worthy of their sufferings; the way they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom – which cannot be taken away – that makes life meaningful and purposeful.” Even if the only choice is not to give up, exercising inner freedom to choose is an abiding principle.
Frankl continues, “One could make a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could ignore the challenge and simply vegetate, as did a majority of the prisoners.” Frankl’s theme is similar to Ward’s advice. Without taking a risk, or acting despite the possibility of continued loss, there is no freedom.
Frankl explains the distinct value of each human life, “The uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude.” For Frankl, the value of each human life and its spiritual freedom are true loss exclusions.
I don’t know what I’d choose if I were in Frankl’s dark circumstances, or if I’d last more than a second. His premise – each human life has singular value despite suffering – fits difficult situations of all shapes and sizes. This principle powerfully colors choices during the gray of life’s prolonged pain and uncertainty. If you’d like to challenge the inherent value of human life despite suffering, Man’s Search for Meaning is on point.
Of course, there are other timeless principles. But, if loss is on replay, the principles may seem broken.
Loss Exclusion – A Person
If not a principle, you could trust a person. Trustworthy companions are vital, rare, and refreshing. But, we know no human has the capacity to be 100% available or meet every one of our needs. What if there was one who could be 100% available and meet all your needs? If this One gave His life for you, if He used His power to free you and take your place, wouldn’t you want to trust Him?
Frankl thoughtfully contends freedom matters in the darkest circumstances, because human life is inherently valuable. Human life is inherently valuable, as evidenced by the cross. The one thing that can’t be lost is that value and the source of that value – His love.
If you believe in the historicity of Jesus and the resurrection, there is a steady unconditional in our overwhelmingly painful reality of loss. I want to hold onto this One and to the one thing that can’t be lost, even in death, even when it seems fixed principles are broken, and even when it seems I’m going to lose again.
Jesus is the total loss exclusion. Jesus is the principle of all-powerful love personified.
Romans 8:38 reads, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” His love conquered death and is the source of any other unconditional loss exclusion, for instance, hope, value, faith. The resurrection gives us hope in the darkness, demonstrates our value, and solidifies our faith. Things break. People – no matter how hard we try – aren’t always around. God’s love is the only thing strong enough to hold on to and bright enough to light our way.
When Jesus died, timeless principles of fairness and truth seemed to be broken. He wasn’t finished. His love had the final say.
Frankl writes Man’s Search for Meaning with an areligious pen, but his conclusion is the same. In perhaps the most beautiful passage I’ve ever read, he proposes love as man’s salvation:
“A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth — that love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way — an honorable way — in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, ‘The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory.’” (emphasis in original).
I enthusiastically agree love carries an infinite glory, and Love itself will be glorified again.
Loss Exclusion – An Effect
If you don’t believe in Jesus’ resurrection, ignore this next part (sometimes, I want to!). In light of The Loss Exclusion, I, as a Christian, don’t have a defense against Ward’s or Frankl’s advice. Taking good risks and refusing to give up are logical conclusions to all-powerful Love. Without risk, faith is moot, anyway.
Expanding on the idea of risk, Catherine Marshall wrote a believer has no excuse not to dream: “[A] Christian has no business being satisfied with mediocrity. He’s supposed to reach for the stars. Why not? He’s not on his own any more. He has God’s help now.” There is no space for dormant Christianity.
And, when answering to his Maker, a Christian cannot blame God for not being available to help. Luke 1:37 reminds us, “For nothing will be impossible with God.” He will give you what you need, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19.
Not only should a Christian try, but he is commanded to try his hardest to love God and others. Matthew 22:37-40 reads, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Similarly, Christians are commanded to vocationally try their hardest. Colossians 3:23 states, “Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], work from the soul [that is, put in your very best effort], as [something done] for the Lord and not for men.”
Loss Exclusion – A Twist
The twist is Jesus’ loss was not the end, and our loss isn’t either. His loss is the source of hope, value, and restoration. Jesus’ loss provided our unconditional loss exclusion.
Trusting Him with your life is the chance to find everything. As C.S. Lewis brilliantly wrote, “Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”