A picture of a soul lost to suicide keeps reminding me on my phone. I didn’t even put the picture there. So, I’ve decided this is a prompt from above to discuss.
When I was alone for what felt like an age, the thought of relief wasn’t appalling. Loneliness is extremely oppressive. If you haven’t been oppressed by loneliness, be thankful you haven’t really been alone. Even with my faith, good friends, a solid job and fun hobbies, the loneliness prowls and attacks in vulnerable times. The absence of someone to love and be loved by – the absence of meaningful, lasting intimacy – can make life seem pointless. For me, at least.
Here’s what stopped me from real consideration of suicide.
The coward’s way out? I didn’t want to be a coward, although the mental pain can be so great, a coward’s shame starts to fade.
The lack of morality? I’d be a murderer of myself. I didn’t put myself on this earth. Why did I have a right to take myself out of it? Yes, I believe God put me here.
But, really, the one irrefutable that caused irreversible abandonment of the (usually) irreversible? The Author of the Universe died for little me. My circumstances may not change. The hole was still there. The loneliness wouldn’t stop. Undesirable circumstances and loneliness didn’t change the truth. With His sacrifice, God says my life is worth living. God died for me, so I could live.
Suicide rejects God’s costly suffering for me. Suicide rejects my worth – a worth I certainly don’t give myself – a worth given to each of us on the Cross. A purpose endured on the Cross.
In the lonely dark, my only reason came to light: God chose to die for me, so I choose to live for Him. There’s no loophole around God’s no-excuses love.
For purposes of this discussion, if you don’t believe in Jesus, it doesn’t matter. He believes in you.
If you don’t have horrible parents, they believe in you. Your friends believe in you.
You are one of a kind. No one can replace you – not your identical twin, not your AI impersonator. In the thousands and thousands of years of human history, you are an original.
Jesus loves you.
God died for you.
Don’t give up.
